i can do hard things.

the last month and a half has been a trying one.
to say the least.
its that moment in my life where everything seems to be going terribly wrong.
school.
its going down hill.
one of my NYR was to graduate.
i thought that would be easy.
but...its not.
i havent been as close to some of my friends as i would like.
i have been learning way too much about myself.
sometimes.
i wish i could be a stranger to myself.
if that makes sense.
i have to remind myself everyday.
to get out of bed.
i have to push myself to get dressed.
and i have to have my mother pull me out the door.
to get to school.
my senior year isnt everything i thought it would be.
its been better.
and its been worse.
in all.
completely different than i thought it would be.
i have to remember though.
that there are so SO many people around me.
that really love me.
not that fake it to get higher socially.
not that only like me for my looks.
not that like me because of things i may have.
sometimes i forget that.
but i need to focus more on the people that love me for me.
that will make things easier.
life is unfair.
life is crazy.
life is hard.
but i just need to remember everyday.

I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

day2

my NYR update.
im one more step closer to my goal.
i wrote another page of piano music. this means i am at three minutes.
my goal is five. im almost there.
i skipped seminary today and made cookies.
does that mean im one step farther away from my ending goal?
oops...the cookies weren't even good.
i finished all my homework early today and it felt niice.
i guess that means i am closer to graduating highschool.
...and going to college.

i guess thats all for my new years resolutions.

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE
something new.
something forgotten.
and
something missed.


something new:a new friend.
something i greatly needed.
haley came into my life at the perfect time.
when i see her.
i see me.
she's a friend i'll never give up.




something forgotten:


every time i see this picture.
i remember the moment i took it.
i forget about the experience i had in the DR much to often.
thankfully.
i have pictures like these to remember it.



something missed:

my big sister.
she has been moved out for..
six months now?
i think i didnt realize how much she ment to me when she was here.
and now she is gone.
i miss her so much.

.day1.

well. this post will be short.
i learned something about my dad today.
he was practically attacked by a bunch of black kids in the ghetto on in mission in queens new york. that would be scary i wont lie.
also. i got my math book i need to finish my math packets. which i need to graduate.
look at me go. haha
two steps closer to by goal. hopefully i'll keep this up. today has been long tiring.
and well. boring. tomorrow will be better. i know it.

well...

goodnight.