a beautiful thing.

i stumbled across Jack and White and have now given them my full attention. they are a glorious ensemble. this here people is real music. i hope you can appreciate it. raw talent. 

say hello.

to Jack and White.

a new blog on the block.

i have another blog. one that will curb your cravings. or just make you want more. its a blog about me and my roommates tastey creations. and how we are going to cook our way through college. i think you will enjoy it. you should check it out. and follow us. thank you. and enjoy.

www.thesweettoothbooth.blogspot.com

she...

really loves to give hugs.

and take lots of naps.

cause she has such a busy hard life.

this was our sunday afternoon.

a testimony.

i have a story to tell. one that was a turning point for me and my church. the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. a story that i will always remember. so vividly. all my life i had known the church was true. i believed it. it was the only thing i knew to believe. but i had never had that one moment where you suddenly know for yourself that it is one hundred percent true. two years ago, this november, i had my moment. and i am going to share it with you. in hopes that it will spark a feeling in you that makes you long for your own moment, or even the desire to find out for yourself that this is the only true church on the earth today. 

my brother served a mission in brasil. a year after he got back our family went back to brasil with him to meet his families that he taught the gospel to and to see his areas. i was expecting this trip to be relaxing and easy. but it wasnt. yes half the trip was relaxing on the beach and doing fun things but the other half was physically and mentally exhausting. the half where we spent a whole week just going around to families and areas and visiting with them. not only was it a lot of traveling but i also didnt understand a word of the language while everyone else did. one day i had just had it. i was sick of sitting and listening to a language i didnt know. with people that i didnt know. i was extremely grumpy on the whole car ride back to the hotel. when we got to the hotel i just wanted to go to sleep. but we had to haul all of our luggage up first and get our rooms. by the time we actually got into our rooms it was midnight. all the kids were in one room together and my parents in another.( i do not recall exactly the whereabouts of my brother while all this was happening.) i remember climbing into bed while my sister went into the bathroom and shut the door. all the lights were off except for the bathroom. a thin strip of light could be seen underneath the door. i laid there in bed and suddenly felt this darkness come over me. it was complete darkness that not even a light could break. this darkness was so thick i could feel it pressing against me. i pulled the sheets over my head and prayed that it would leave. i sat there for what seemed like forever in this darkness praying that it would go away. slowly it started to lift and i could see the small strip of bathroom light again. then it came back. in a split second. this time stronger heavier and darker. i couldnt move.   literally. not like frozen in fear but i could feel it holding me down. i tried yelling for my sister. but nothing came out of my mouth. i was screaming as loud as i could. but the darkness drowned out every sound that i made. all i could do was lay there is complete fear and darkness and cry. i prayed that it would leave. but nothing happened. it felt like i was laying there for hours. then, a thought came to my head. it was a conference talk where one of the twelve said that the devil cannot stay when he is demanded to leave in the name of god. then these words came to my head " in the name of God and Jesus Christ, Satan get thee hence." slowly i whispered these words but nothing happened. then i yelled them. right after i yelled the last word the darkness was completely gone. every bad and evil feeling was replaced with peace and quite. my sister walked out of the bathroom completely normal. she hadnt heard or felt a thing.

ever since this moment i havent had a doubt in my mind that this church, is the true church. there is so much evil in this world. but we need to fight against it every second of every day till we are back in the presence of our God. so we can feel his warm loving embrace and hear him thank us for all we did. this life is by no means easy. and just waking up every day and having to go through everyday trials is the hardest thing we will ever have to do. but the most important things in this world are the things we have to fight and stand up for. we need to have faith to pray for the strength we need to see all of this through till the very end. we need never forget the bigger picture. that in the end it doesnt matter who we were friends with or how much money we have. it matters what you stood up and fought for. i will admit. i forget this. a lot. but i am trying and i am praying that i can become a warrior in this battle between good and evil and never back down or give in to the adversary. to start fighting for what you believe in is the hardest but its something that only you and i can do. 

i wanted to end this with a testimony. a testimony that didnt just one day appear to me. but has been building up since an eye opening night in brasil.

God is real. as real as everything around us. He loves us more than anything. and has faith in us that we will do everything we can to come back to him. I know that every person on this earth is a child of God. no matter the mistakes we have made we are still His children. and that will never change. i know that the atonement is an amazing blessing and i hold it so dearly to me. i have a testimony of forgiveness. no matter how bad someone has hurt me or wronged me i must forgive them. and leave the rest to God. because he is a just God. i know that this church is true. and i will never deny that. i will fight for it until the day i die.

to fart. or not to fart.

the stages of a relationship can be defined by farting. stage one is the conspiracy of silence. this is a fantasy period where both parties pretend that they have no bodily waste. this illusion is very quickly shattered by that first shy, "ooh, did you fart," followed by the sheepish admission of truth. this heralds a period of deeper intimacy. a period I like to call the "fart honeymoon", where both parties find each others gas just the cutest thing in the world. but, of course, no honeymoon can last forever. and so we reach the critical fork in the fart. Either the fart loses its power to amuse and embarrass thereby signifying true love, or else it begins to annoy and disgust, thereby symbolizing all that is blocked and rancid in the formerly beloved. do you see what I'm getting at? as strange as this may come across it is so very true.

Love: Or Something Like it.

this here. is my creative writing essay about love. despite the fact that i act like i know everything about the word. i know nothing. absolutely nothing. i am learning just like everyone else. but please bear with me. this essay is my masterpiece. dig in.

Love: Or Something Like it.

People go to the movies to watch love. You know, the kind of love that starts out with a cliche bump in the store or a guy that realizes he is in love with his best friend as she walks down the aisle. People go to the movies to forget about reality. So these "love" stories are not reality. They are just the simple day dreams of people just like you and me. People longing to fill that void in them. It is time to face the facts about love that we have been avoiding since Margret Hughes hit the big screen.  Love takes time, love takes effort love takes understanding and cooperation, and loves costs more than the ticketed movie price of eight fifty.

I am here to tell you my thoughts on love. My story, my love reality. I have had my heart broken, stepped on and blended to a pulp. But look at me, I am still here. Fact number one. Heartbreak is hell. Fact number two, you'll get over it. Fact number three, the saying "heartbreak" is not literal. I repeat, is not literal. If your heart really did break our human species would be extinct. I haven't only had my heart "broken". I have had those nights when i stay awake for hours smiling to myself, probably grinning ear to ear, thinking about that boy (or for some girls, those eight boys). Thinking about what he said, how he touched me, trying not to forget all the smiles that he has to go with his moods, and analyzing every last scratch of his head or sniff of his nose (us girls are good at that). I have had those days where I sit and do nothing because his face occupies my mind and apparently my brain isn't big enough to multitask. I have had those days that some body has said something to me that, usually, would make me want to punch them square in the face, but I didn't. Because he thinks that I am wonderful and that is all that matters. Like I said before heartbreak is hell. But, fact number four, infatuation is indeed heaven. All these things, plus the butterflies you get, the stars you see and all the cheesy lines you say to each other (you are the honey to my bee) are infatuation. I am not saying this is a bad thing, because it definitely feels good.

Yes, there is a heaven and hell to love. Heartbreak is hell, obviously, and infatuation is heaven. Then there is earth, the everyday little annoying, boring, frustrating things. This right here my friends, is love. This is reality. Play along with me for a second. We all started off in heaven right? Well, this goes for love as well. We all start out our relationships in heaven, also known as infatuation. We meet our girl or guy and everything is perfect. Everything is gold paved streets, angles singing and an endless supply of roses and chocolate. There is no emotion of "mad" or "sad" in the language of heaven, just "happy" and "giddy". You guys are together all the time, you talk on the phone till the early hours of the morning, but its heaven. Who needs sleep, right? This goes on for a couple of weeks, maybe if you are really lucky a couple of months. Then you both fall to reality, also knows as earth. In reality you realize it is not about rainbows and pretty flowers. Sleep is greatly needed, food is much appreciated and personal hygiene is a must. On earth you can't disregard your whole life. You both must learn to cope, to trust, to communicate, to problem solve, to compromise, to give and take constructive criticism and to laugh at the mistakes that you both will make. These are the things that make love real. These are the building blocks of love. Earth is not fun and games like heaven, you have to work to keep what you have and work to get to where you want to be. It is not just handed to you.Earth can be boring, extremely boring on some days, and Earth can be hard. But, there are still those days that will make everything worth while, that will end up being some of the greatest moments of your life. Love isn't easy, you have to work at it everyday. Just like on Earth, we have a comfort zone in love. On Earth we tend to settle with the job we have that we don't really enjoy or the school that seems best for everyone else but you.We do the same thing in love. We tend to get comfortable with the mediocre relationship we have that really isn't interesting or fun at all. On Earth, when you step outside your comfort zone you can make great things happen, just by pushing yourself to the limit. It is the same thing in love. If you both took your relationship one step out of its comfort zone you could have "heaven" on "Earth" if that makes sense. In relationships that are real, that actually posses real love, you have disagreements, you cry, you yell, you slam doors, you laugh till you cry, you hold each others hand every second you can, you give them encouragement, you put time aside just for them, you kiss, you hug and you do all you can to make it work. This is like earth, you have problems everyday that you have to face whether with your boss, or a person on the street. You have to learn to deal with problems to make "Earth" aka love bearable. Do you see the comparison?

Now, when this love isn't meant to be, you plummet into hell. What girls seem to think is everlasting, but in reality they are right back in heaven when the next cute guy talks to them. This is the cycle we all go through until we find that person that we will be with forever. It is a hard process, but it teaches so much if you are willing to go through the heartbreak to learn.

"When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman."  -Unknown

mathic.

today. 

i found out just how much of  a music junkie i am. 

please.let me explain.

well im siting there in math. 

and we are doing lots and lots of math problems. 

(all of which are foreign to me)

and as i am doing these math problems.

in my head i make a song of each problem. 

for example:

8(76)^5=890765(768)

something impossible that.

and as i was writing each number down on my paper.

i gave it a tune. 

so i was singing a math problem. 

yeah im cool...

and you know how 2+2=4?

well thats not how i think. 

all my numbers turned into notes. 

and suddenly math clicked.

or at least some of the problems we were doing.

all the sudden decimals weren't from hell.

and fractions were simple. 

my math was singing to me.

and it was fun. 

my brain was my own personal math musical.

but. i was quickly snapped out of this happy place.

when professor W.

asked me to do a problem on the board.

lets just say.

my music notes failed me.

ill be sure to keep music and math separate.

at least for now.

arepost.

 i posted this almost a year ago. and it still stands true.

friends.

"I don't remember how we happened to meet each other. I don't remember who got along with whom first. All I can remember is all of us together...always."

where would i be without my friends?
hell. to be straight forward.
each of my friends have a very different purpose.
but i love them each the same.
my friends keep me going day to day and month to month.

lastnight

we had a party. a big party. a big surprise party. it was her twentyfirst birthday after all. we could not celebrate it like a twentieth birthday. this one called for us to go out. all out. and we did. oh we did. first we wrote on her car. then we decorated the front room. all while she was wide awake in her bedroom telling me to turn off lights. then we went about our day. normally. at least thats what we lead her to believe. when in reality we were taking trips to partyland in st.george. baking way too many things and sending out texts informing people of the party we were having that night. she came home. and we acted normal. i was doing homework and so was kylie. kassidy was over. but thats the usual. laykin was also here. now that is turning into a habit for her. a good one i might say. anyway..back on track. we were all home. trying to act normal. we did pretty good. until i said " kc wants to know what time the party is tonight." yes. i did say that. oh. i thought i had blown it. until kassidy and rachel both said. "what party?" and thats when i made up the biggest lie. ever. "oh..the one at andrea's." and of course. rachel had to ask more questions. "kc knows andrea?" again another lie. "yeah they hang out all the time. you didnt know that?" then thankfully kylie interrupted with a change of subject. props to you. highfive. after getting all dressed up with our makeup done and our hair did. we went out to dinner. just me kassidy and the birthday girl. kylie and laykin stayed behind to set up for this wonderful occasion. dinner was delightful. we talked we laughed and we tried not to hint to any surprise. it didnt help that my phone was being blown up by people asking when we were arriving home. when we arrived home kassidy and i both hesitated at the door. neither of us wanting to open it. it was a surprise for her after all. but of course she wouldnt open it. which left it up to me. they surprised the wrong person. at least she was behind me. the night was perfect. the best company and the best food. virgin margaritas and virgin jello shots. cotton candy cake brownies cookies and much much more. everyone was out by midnight. perfect timing. seeing after midnight it is no longer her birthday. so happy birthday rachel. you are twentyone.

cheers.

hellohandsome.

i just thought i would brag for a sec. 

well.

pictures do say a million words.

im a mother. yes. i am a momma. i have to wake up every two hours to make sure she is okay. so i am somewhat sleep deprived already. but im okay with it because she is worth it. 

her name is tamarah. but her nick name: swag swag.

she is a new born.
so she sleeps a lot.
give her a break.

today

it not only rained but poured. 

it is officially the season for high socks. boots. and fall colors. 

i couldnt be more excited.

i blog. but lets be honest. i suck at it.
i dont have any cleaver lines that i can pull to keep you interested.
all i have is my stories of my day to day life.
and if thats not interesting enough for you to read.
think about how i feel having to live it.
haha
i need something where i can let loose.
and isnt this what blogging is for?
a place to be free to be me.
be random.
and say whatever it is i feel like saying.
im gonna start a new way of blogging.
heres to blogging.

cheers. 

a theory.

life is exactly like a really narrow winding road. none of our roads are the same. obviously. they all wind and climb and fall in different places. and yes. we are all stick shift cars. its really hard for us to climb up hills and its really easy for us to stall randomly. even when we didnt know that it was coming. this is just my theory. and the last couple days i have been climbing a giant hill and im not sure if im gonna roll back down, stall and have to restart.

with the new situations at hand. a lot of things will be changing in the near future. and right now. its really hard. i dont understand why things have to happen this way and i dont get the point of it all. but i guess things dont always go the way i want. my road has become extremely winded and i have had to slow down in order to not fly off the edge. im scared of how things are gonna end up but i just have to have faith and know that there are people there along the way that are gonna be there to help me.  i have so many people that love me. and i am so lucky.

life is hard. but thats okay.