my head is a mess

I have skipped multiple days of Jenni's (Story of My Life) Blogtember due to being lazy. Oops. But today's theme got me thinking. "Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn."

I sat staring at my screen for hours thinking, trying to pinpoint the exact moment, the exact feelings where my life turned around. So many experiences, mistakes and emotions have lead me to this point, that it has been hard to focus in on the one that changed the path of my life. After wracking my brain and reliving the past through memories, I separated one moment that stood out from the rest and has been hidden deep in my heart. I don't know if I even realized till now the significance it has had on my life.

I was fifteen, that age where you hate everyone and everything but your friends and your cell phone. I was angry, really angry. The things I had gone through up to that point in life was enough for a grown woman. I was completely broken and trying to fix myself in all the wrong ways, I had never felt so lost. My parents had done everything they could to help me, but I was slipping away from them so fast that I didn't have time to grab on to their hands.

That summer my mom took me away, hoping that I could find some part of myself that still existed inside. We got on an airplane and headed to the Dominican Republic for the last month of summer. I remember feeling so nervous, I didn't know what to expect. We were staying in a Haitian refugee camp in a house that was surrounded by five story gates. The gate to the house was locked at dusk and no one was allowed in or out.

I remember one night I climbed to the roof. It was a clear night and I could see a million stars and hear every sound from the village below me. I laid back with my hands behind my head and just took it all in. It was in that moment I found myself again, that I was finally able to clear some of the darkness that was holding my mind and body captive from feeling happiness. I remember feeling in control of my life again, feeling at peace. A weight was lifted off of me and I could breath again.

It wasn't something big, it was such a small, quiet moment that changed my life.

saturday storms

 Saturdays are the best days. Other than waking up and knowing that the bathroom is waiting to be cleaned and the kitchen floors are ready to be scrubbed, it is my favorite. Cleaning gives me anxiety. So far this Saturday I have: re-vamped our living room (pictures to come), finally did laundry, cleaned the house, like real cleaning, and went to a friends bridal shower. It has been a busy day, but a productive one. 

Tonight my sister is hosting a bachelorette party at my house for one of our friends from college. Naturally, for her 'last fling before the ring" we had to go all out. With a "little black dress theme" and all things girly, tonight will be a success & you are never too old for party favors. 

For some reason, Saturdays are always better when they come with a storm.

BLOGTEMBER : 2 days late : ADVICE

ADVICE

I don't have much advice for the world. I am young with a lot to learn and so much life to live. I make mistakes constantly and I have dreams that I am still aiming for. There is one thing that I live by, that has helped me every day of my life. It isn't much of advice, but I remember this every day and it has changed me for the better. 

"Happiness is a decision. You are as happy as you decide to be"

- Author Unknown

bring it on fall.

I cannot wait for fall to really come so I can bust out my flannel and beanies. Crunchy leaves, pumpkins and chilly nights, what more can I ask for? 

Here are my goals for this fall: 

>Get completely unpacked from the move

>Get organized

>Finally print our wedding pictures

>Send out our Wedding Thank you's ( four months late )

>Make some much needed trips to DI

>& learn a few new recipes

It's not a big list, but it will take me some time. When things like organizing start to happen, that's when my ADD decides it's bored and wants to do other things, a million other things, at once. It's quite lovely.

Floral Skinnies // Ross

Ankle Boots // Forever Young

Gray T// Cotton On

Green Trench Coat // XXI

Shoulder Bag // ALDO

Necklace & Bracelet // Charlotte Russe

Watch // Kohls

What are your fall goals?

cats on cats

I am convinced that one day I will be a cat lady. And I am okay with that, just have to break the news to T. He also gave me permission to be a tiger today, and I could not pass that one up, obviously. 

Today was baby Hayze's baby blessing. His suspenders and bow tie kill me, he had to keep it classy in front of that big crowd. He stole my heart the first time I held him and in the last couple months we have become the best of buds. 

Tomorrow is Monday, Monday.. T goes back to school tomorrow, let real life begin. Its that time of year to get settled into our real routine and say goodbye to summer and hello to textbooks and tests. Thankfully, I am not starting school until spring. I needed more time to convince myself I could work full time and study full time. I am still not convinced.

Jumper // Better B. 

Watch // Kohls

Neon Cat Button Up // Gap

Necklace // XXI 

Wedges // Pac Sun

 

rainy days

here comes fall. plaid shirts and puffy vests are calling my name. and not to mention, that means my birthday is only two months away. I feel like i'm still turning seventeen. but thats okay.

happy Saturday.

I scream, you scream

I am lactose intolerant, and I don't even like ice cream. But, who cares when its cake batter, coconut cookies and free? thanks mom. You can bet my stomach was twerkin it after this lapse of judgement, this delightful lapse of judgement. 

Apparently, wednesday is the day for the movies. Us girls tried to go to Monsters University. Sold out. We watched mud instead at the parents house. Speaking of which, does any one else think that Matthew Mcconaughey should retire? I do.

we all scream for ice cream.

paris, please

Paris should invite me over, we would be the best of friends. Tea by the Eiffel Tower? I could live with that. All I need now is a teacup poodle and a ticket across the pond. "Grandmama its me, Anastasia".

Summer fashion is wonderful, but fall will always have my heart. I've been thinking, fashion blogging has been calling my name. Time to shake up the place, so imma throw in some fashion posts here and there. hopefully you'll love it just as much as I do.

Shoes // xxi

Shirt // pac sun

Dress // sewn by me

Jewelry // charlotte russe

glasses // xxi

A BIT OF WHIMSY

Our backyard is the definition of whimsical. With two big walnut trees shading the whole area and this wooden swing, I could spend my whole day out there. Just give me a good book. The moment I saw how wonderful it was I had to have it. T and I put our minds to it and made it happen. So far this summer, two BBQ's, one croquet game and a couple horseshoe games have been held is the lovely corner of ours. There is something about a swing and a tree to climb that takes me back to my childhood, and that's a wonderful place to be. We will be staying for quite some time. 

come visit.

BLACK MARKET TEA PARTY

I have the most amazing muse. We have this tendency of going shopping and turning it into a shopping spree. It's quality time with each other, but our wallets hate it. Once a month we have a girls day, just the two of us where we dress up, go to a nice dinner and buy our outfit for the next girls night out. Every girl likes a reason to dress up every now and then and indulge in a little girl talk. And of course there is no better person to do it with than my only sister.



Dress // White House Black Market

Necklace // XXI

Sunnies // H&M

Wedges // Forever Young

Girl // Ms. Rachel Tenney

Instagram // @hallahkeetch

in need of love

be back soon.

'MERICA BABY

 

>instagram | @hallahkeetch

>the fourth will forever be my second (sorry) favorite holiday

>christmas can never be topped

>so many bbq's and so little time

>tyson went golfing at 630AM so I slept in

>Lana Del Rey was the soundtrack to my 4th

>red lipstick was a dime a dozen. I wore it anyway

>the american flag shirts just keep getting shorter and they arent from old navy anymore

>four and a half day weekend. gettin it

>tyson has saturday and sunday off so we are gonna explore

>happy 5th

EAT

@hallahkeetch

The home is coming together. and it is safe to say I adore our kitchen. I have so much room. maybe this way I will learn to cook. as soon as we have the rest of the house in order, can you say BBQ? 

who's in?

chocolate on chocolate.

My sister is a baker. 

I don't know what I would do with out these wonderful delights.

they make hell week a little more bearable. 

fun fact: she made my wedding cake(s)

this wont shock anyone but, Monday's are the worst. ever.

also, does the word moist not freak anyone else out?

and my husband is a grade A man. but really he is the best. 

cupcake anyone?

 

stay put.

well ladies and gentlemen. we are moving. we tried to fit in this house but it just wasn't working out. we are relocating to Lehi. It is much closer to both our jobs and just a little perk, it has A/C. I will no longer feel like I am coming home to a sauna. we move on the 29th of June. Once we are situated. I will be having a house warming party. 

say hello to our new home.

adoption Q&A

As most of you know I'm adopted. Getting married means having babies, and that makes people ask me questions. I love it when people ask about my adoption. I have noticed that a lot of people look at adoption as a negative thing, and I will take any opportunity to show people that it is not. I have been asked about my adoption a lot more lately. So I will answer all those questions. here goes. 

> How old where you when you were adopted?

> Just a few weeks. I was placed in a foster home for a couple weeks till my parents picked me up.

> Have you ever been angry at the thought that someone could just give you away?

> Yes. As much as I hate to admit it I have been. But, I do not look at it as giving me away. She wanted me to have the best life I possibly could and she knew that she could not give me everything that she wanted me to have. It was a very hard decision for her. 

> Is is hard knowing that your real mom is out there and you have never meet her?

> No. I do not look at her as my "real" mom. She is my birth mother, but the woman that raised me and that I am sealed to is my "real" mom. 

> Do you ever want to meet your birth parents?

> This is a hard question, and I am still torn. I have no desire to meet my birth father, but I would love to sit down with my birth mother for a couple hours and learn about her. Just so I can learn about where I came from. 

> Do you have siblings that you have never met?

> I am guessing that I do but I do not know for sure.

> Is being adopted hard on you emotionally?

> At one point it was. When I was in my teen "I need to find myself" years. It was hard on my not knowing where I came from or what my birth parents were like.

> When did they tell you that you were adopted?

> I was told it from a very young age so I knew it growing up. Even if they hadn't told me I would have figured it out eventually. "mom why are you white and I'm black?" that would have been an awkward conversation. It wasn't until my senior year that I found about more information about my birth parents and the details of my adoption. 

> Do you plan on adopting?

> I would love to adopt if I had that opportunity. But I also want to have my own children. So when we decide that we are ready for kids we will make that decision. 

> Are you the only one in your family that is adopted?

> No. Both my brother and my sister are adopted. 

> Do you consider your adoption a very private matter?

> Not at all. I talk about it freely and in my family we often joke about it. I hold my adoption dear to me but it is something I have no problem talking about. 

> Because you are adopted is family life different?

> I guess I wouldn't know any different because this is the only "way" I know. But from what I can tell It is the same as everyone else. We are a family and that's whats important. I do get a few laughs when people say "I can totally tell you are sisters you look so much a like" That's when we just smile and nod our heads. 

If there are any other questions that anyone may have please ask and I would love to answer them for you or you can always click on my adoption tab to your right and get the whole story. 

Over and out. 

W E D N E S D A Y.

> I thought 8 months would drag on. but it didn't.
> In 9 days I will be married to the love of my life.
> I have a bridal shower tonight. Its good to see everyone.
> My best friend enters the MTC today. she will be a brilliant missionary.
> I am an emotional mess right now. I call it stress.
> I have realized working out is the best way to think.
> the perks of living by the lake? watching the sunset.
> I have been sick all week. At least its not next week.
> Tyson wants a puppy. A German Sheppard that is.
> Life is always changing but the more it does the less it scares me.
> All I wear anymore are jeans tshirts and vans. and thats a-okay.
> Flowers and sunshine make me happy.
> I could hike for days. bring on the camping.
> Lake Powell anyone?

because San Diego is the best place to be.

Last weekend I ventured to San Diego California //the home land// to do one of the best things of my life. and yes it was the best thing of my life this far. and sharing it with my lovely fiance made it that much better. I was adopted as you all know, and sealed to my wonderful parents in the San Diego Temple. Naturally, this temple now holds a special place in my heart. I feel so blessed and thankful to my amazing mother for driving me there to receive my endowments. It was such an amazing experience. I was lucky enough to get to spend a couple days basking in the sun. Tyson and I are beach people. through and through. here are some pictures of our lovely trip. if you follow me on instagram //@hallahharmon// you're already caught up.

we like long walks on the beach and carousels. 

playing catch up.

I am behind and a lot has happened. I have had requests that I write up certain posts and I have been to and from California. It has been a busy couple of weeks, but they have been wonderful. I will fill all you lovely people in as soon as i can. but until then, i will let you know that i am officially a grown up.

I guess I'm interesting.

the lovely lady of Dearest Honey tagged me for what is called a liebster award. I wasn't even aware there was such a thing until she filled me in. The Liebster Award is awarded to bloggers who have less then 200 followers. after blogging since 2009 my blog has changed numerous time. I have been blogging for four years and have just reached 70 followers. that is not the 650 followers that a lot of you wonderful humans have. but that felt like an accomplishment to me. 70 people think i am interesting.  i am almost cool. WIN.  here is whats up. I am gonna answer 11 questions about me. I am then going to tag some ladies. and so on and so on. you know this tagging thing that you all hate. 

dig in.

1: what is your favorite store?

//hobby lobby. hands down//

2: what are your three closet staples?

//nude stilettos. oxford flats. combat boots. i dont like shoes at all//   

3: what is your favorite TV show?

//walking dead. enough said//

4: If you could be any TV or movie character, who would you be?

//Jessica Day. she has the best clothes & the best hair//

5: If you could be one item of any price, what would it be?

 //Steve Madden combat boots//

6: what is your favorite band and or singer?

//mumford and sons & drake. he is my guilty pleasure//

7: what are your top read daily blogs?

//m(2)story. he & I. victoria. her & him//

8: What would be your tip for new bloggers?

//don't be afraid to say what you want & don't compare your life to anyone else"

9: what is one thing you have learned about yourself since blogging?

//I am constantly changing. I am never the same person from week to week. also, I am so unique. I am so much the same but so different from everyone around me//

10: what is your favorite season?

//summer. painted toe nails & shaved legs// 

11: If you could switch lives with anyone, who would it be?

//my soon to be husband. i would love to walk in his shoes to see how he stays sane loving me//

a fine frenzy. the naulus. definitions of chelsie. 

go ahead and answer the questions that i answered above. 

or answer whatever questions you want. 

do yo thang.   

    

this was horrible.

Something horrible happened today. When I am not infuriated about it, I will spill the beans. I'll try not to curse. wish me luck. Until then, I'll talk about things that make me happy.

Pre wedding workouts and pampering have begun. 

no more zits on this face. 

this candle was eighty cents at hobby lobby.

it was a good decision.

Tyson got me this perfume for valentines day. 

Its my favorite, and my third bottle.

oops. 

he knows me well.

Even on bad days there are lots of good things to be happy about. 

I am surrounded by lovely things.

battle of the sexes. but really.

If you are looking for quality entertainment and killer abs I suggest the university Golds Gym. I have a love hate relationship with this location. Watching all the girls pretend to work out while stalking their next victim with perfectly ratted poneytailed hair, earings and sparkly lip gloss makes me laugh. I cant help it, it's entertaining. However I could do with out the overly roided sexually frustrated boys who wander around picking up a weight every ten minutes, it makes me feel uncomfortable.  

the gym is for working out people. not speed dating. 

winner winner salmon dinner.

I have a thing for nice guys who can cook. so naturally my soon to be husband is my first and only pick. will you be my valentine? // it was valentines day i had to say it at some point // first he showed up with flowers and chocolates at my work. then he cooked me a very romantic very delicious candle lit dinner. he then handed me a box wrapped in red and white with red ribbon. // he can wrap presents better than i can. win // my favorite perfume lotion and body wash, Daisy by Marc Jacobs. he landed himself a very red kiss. he swept me off to the movies then we came home and talked. talking and laughing, that's what we do best. He gave me a kiss, an I love you and went home. the best part is, that was the last valentines day that I have to watch him leave. next year the night will end a lot better, you know, cuddling till we fall asleep.

endow-ow-owments & some kissing.

I go through the temple in 3 weeks and 3 days. I'm fuhhreeeking out. but seriously I am. There is something scary about not knowing what to expect. At the same time it is going to be fantastic, I have no doubt that it will make me cry. Waterproof mascara? check.

if you follow me on insta //@hallahharmon// you'll know that i got my engagements done a bit over a week ago. it was a party. really though it was. our photographer is lovely and the best you could ask for. some of you may follow her on her blog here. yo chels, you rock. here are some of my favorites:

// http://chelsieclarkephotography.blogspot.com //

//ow ow//

what have you people done to me.

all I hear is target this, and target that.  so naturally, I had to see what all the chatter was about. 

all you lovely people have now gotten me addicted. 

thanks a lot. //like I actually needed one more place to spend money//

five reasons I vote Target instead of Walmart.

1: the store is clean. actually clean.

2: if I ask an employee where something is, they know. {imagine that}

3: they have an array of cute clothes.

4: they are organized and tidy. I like tidy.

5: I can go there at 3 am and not feel like I am going to get kidnapped. 

thanks Target for my lovely green polkadot sweater. 

I have worn it two days in a row now.

its cozy and makes me happy.

wa wa wa walking dead: break down.

You know ladies //and gents// I am a walking dead fan. I mean I am all for the bachelor, but I like guts and gore more than kissing and crying. Don't get me wrong, Tierra and her craziness makes me squirm with anxiety but I like her in a weird way.  The weird way that I want to slap the normal into her and the crazy out of her but at the same time if she went home I would miss her crazy lady eye brows and faking her death at every corner.

Merle: Die already. no one likes you.

Andrea: You bug me. bad. you create so much trouble. but you also calmed the psycho people, so props to you.

Daryl: You and your cross bow. I get the whole blood thing, but who just punched you in the face and is past super disgusting.

Maggie: Girl, do yo thang. you are tough. we like tough.

beth: you're sweet. too sweet. I feel a death in your future. sorry girl.

Carol: I like you. you are real. and smart. I wish you would mack with Daryl already. You totally would tell Ed to eat it if  he walked back in.

Glenn: You are somethin else. In a good way. I mean where did these muscles come from? and you are starting to yell at rick. I like that, he needs it.

Michonne: Rick is crazy. Don't worry he won't kick you out, you're too good with those swords of yours. get some sleep.

Carl: you are still a mother killer. I haven't gotten over it yet. 

Hershel: You are the Gandalf of the group. you are so wise, yet no one wants to listen to you. hmm.

Rick: You freak me out. seriously freak me out. you are all over the place and I feel like you are going to snap.

The Governor: you are INSANE. and you just became evil x10. you're creepiness makes me feel uncomfortable.

//Lori: your ghost face looked walkerish.//

hey mr. landlord, my name isn't hannah.

holly, hannah, hailey 

Either he is:

1: dyslexic

2: or he refuses to believe that the name is, in fact, hallah.

the second seems more likely. I mean this is utah, we tend to stick with the more basic names. 

but then there is me. half black & named hallah.  

people are like "haaaalllllaaaaahhh. hallah back & hallah hallah.  girl you from the hood?"

and me, in my high ponytail, bright lipstick, and floral cardigan all calm and collected//from the hood// says "no, no i am not".

//but if I was from the hood and didn't have this lipstick on you maybe, most likely, would have been slapped  in the face//

19 years of having this name, the jokes may be getting old people.
i would love to hear the new material. 

Three things I love about my house:

1: it's quite with no neighbors on the other side of the wall.

2: i can jump up and down when im happy and slam doors when i am mad. without the fear of rattling the neighbors shelves.

3: its going to be our house in 2 1/2 months. //this one is my favorite//

when in doubt, close your snout.

you can count on me to put my foot in the mouth. I guess I missed this lesson. In case there are any others out there like myself, I will give you my // and the worlds // advice now. Do not, under any circumstances, mix up the words tentacles and testicles. this isn't a palm to face kind of moment. this is a sit in a corner and melt kind of moment. there is no coming back from this one. this i will guarantee. being made fun of till i die? check.

Here is the low down:

once I got stung by a jelly fish. I told the stranger lady on the boat that the jelly fish wrapped its testicles around me. entertainment for the rest of her life? I think so. seeing that this story was told a day ago // five years later // to the future in-laws, I think it is safe to say I will never live it down. 

tentacles. not testicles.

because i finally became technologically savy

I spent a couple hours tonight trying to figure this out. after banging my fists steering clear of profanity and a couple kisses from the man, I finally did it. thanks to this girl for her help on giving me some tutorials, we all came out alive. so thank you Jessica, you're a winner. // her blog is fantastic, you should take a peek //.

here are the buttons:

If you have a button, let me know. Because right now I am button happy and i'd love to place it on my blog.

you guys are great. 

let me read you.

// @hallahharmon //

I want to read a book. not a tweener sappy "i'll die if If you dont love me" kind of book. But a real book. Written by a sophisticated person with sophisticated thoughts with words that are hard for me to pronounce. I want to read a book that will teach me how to be a wife help me know that marriage isn't a walk in central park. I want to read a murder mystery with a twisted plot and an unexpected ending. I just want to read. If you have a list of good reads please share. I will except them with open arms.

{under construction}

this blog is currently being beautified. 

be back in a jiffy.

walkers are coming. WALKERS ARE COMING!

FEBRUARY 10th. AMC. SUNDAYS 9/8c. BE THERE OR BE DEAD.

This does call for all caps. because its that awesome.

I mean what is better than brains blood a baby and a splash of twisted romance.

nothing. there is nothing.

Only a bit over a week away and I am already preparing myself for this epic episode.

{yes i said epic. it was more than necessary}

walkers walkers walkers 

brains brains brains 

dale dale dale

enjoy the experience.

{ @hallahharmon }

This sickness will be the death of me. These last couple days have been full of laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. It has been relaxing to an extent but also boring, and I am ready to feel healthy again. 

Yesterday, while everyone was facebooking and instagraming the oh so entertaining falls they witnessed, I was wrapped in a cocoon of blankets waking up to a text from the fiance. 

"Hey babe, drive safe and slow. Lots of accidents this morning."

Call me a romantic, but this was wonderful. The littlest things mean the most in the end. This short simple text tells me I found the most lovely, caring, kind man. I am lucky to get to hold his had for the rest of our lives and after. He doesn't know how perfect he is. And I believe that is what makes him so wonderful and what makes me so lucky. 

Working out has finally become a habit. And I am starting to see results with this wedding diet and workout. I just have to keep telling myself that all of this is worth it. The diet isn't so bad after your stomach has shrunk. It fits into my lifestyle quite nicely and I am thinking of keeping it around.

3 month 0 weeks 0 days 18 hours 22 minutes and 45 second. 

{ the official count down has now begun }

another persons junk.

I spend more time decorating than I do sleeping and,

 I learned how to use a leveler it's safe to say it's my new favorite tool.

I take pride in having a clean home,

so sometimes I stay up until three in the morning doing the dishes.

My mother always told me that I hoard junk.

but I secretly knew that one day it would all come in handy.

there is a free alpaca on KSL.

my backyard is plenty big enough for her.

I'm not going to lie and say that she is not a temptation to me.

because she is.

she would be wonderful for our summer camping trips.

I got that old chair at savers,

and it was six ninety nine.

WIN.

after a handful of comparing,

chatting, admiring and weeknight meetings. 

we have officially chosen the wedding photographer.