mathic.

today. 

i found out just how much of  a music junkie i am. 

please.let me explain.

well im siting there in math. 

and we are doing lots and lots of math problems. 

(all of which are foreign to me)

and as i am doing these math problems.

in my head i make a song of each problem. 

for example:

8(76)^5=890765(768)

something impossible that.

and as i was writing each number down on my paper.

i gave it a tune. 

so i was singing a math problem. 

yeah im cool...

and you know how 2+2=4?

well thats not how i think. 

all my numbers turned into notes. 

and suddenly math clicked.

or at least some of the problems we were doing.

all the sudden decimals weren't from hell.

and fractions were simple. 

my math was singing to me.

and it was fun. 

my brain was my own personal math musical.

but. i was quickly snapped out of this happy place.

when professor W.

asked me to do a problem on the board.

lets just say.

my music notes failed me.

ill be sure to keep music and math separate.

at least for now.

arepost.

 i posted this almost a year ago. and it still stands true.

friends.

"I don't remember how we happened to meet each other. I don't remember who got along with whom first. All I can remember is all of us together...always."

where would i be without my friends?
hell. to be straight forward.
each of my friends have a very different purpose.
but i love them each the same.
my friends keep me going day to day and month to month.

lastnight

we had a party. a big party. a big surprise party. it was her twentyfirst birthday after all. we could not celebrate it like a twentieth birthday. this one called for us to go out. all out. and we did. oh we did. first we wrote on her car. then we decorated the front room. all while she was wide awake in her bedroom telling me to turn off lights. then we went about our day. normally. at least thats what we lead her to believe. when in reality we were taking trips to partyland in st.george. baking way too many things and sending out texts informing people of the party we were having that night. she came home. and we acted normal. i was doing homework and so was kylie. kassidy was over. but thats the usual. laykin was also here. now that is turning into a habit for her. a good one i might say. anyway..back on track. we were all home. trying to act normal. we did pretty good. until i said " kc wants to know what time the party is tonight." yes. i did say that. oh. i thought i had blown it. until kassidy and rachel both said. "what party?" and thats when i made up the biggest lie. ever. "oh..the one at andrea's." and of course. rachel had to ask more questions. "kc knows andrea?" again another lie. "yeah they hang out all the time. you didnt know that?" then thankfully kylie interrupted with a change of subject. props to you. highfive. after getting all dressed up with our makeup done and our hair did. we went out to dinner. just me kassidy and the birthday girl. kylie and laykin stayed behind to set up for this wonderful occasion. dinner was delightful. we talked we laughed and we tried not to hint to any surprise. it didnt help that my phone was being blown up by people asking when we were arriving home. when we arrived home kassidy and i both hesitated at the door. neither of us wanting to open it. it was a surprise for her after all. but of course she wouldnt open it. which left it up to me. they surprised the wrong person. at least she was behind me. the night was perfect. the best company and the best food. virgin margaritas and virgin jello shots. cotton candy cake brownies cookies and much much more. everyone was out by midnight. perfect timing. seeing after midnight it is no longer her birthday. so happy birthday rachel. you are twentyone.

cheers.

hellohandsome.

i just thought i would brag for a sec. 

well.

pictures do say a million words.

im a mother. yes. i am a momma. i have to wake up every two hours to make sure she is okay. so i am somewhat sleep deprived already. but im okay with it because she is worth it. 

her name is tamarah. but her nick name: swag swag.

she is a new born.
so she sleeps a lot.
give her a break.

today

it not only rained but poured. 

it is officially the season for high socks. boots. and fall colors. 

i couldnt be more excited.

i blog. but lets be honest. i suck at it.
i dont have any cleaver lines that i can pull to keep you interested.
all i have is my stories of my day to day life.
and if thats not interesting enough for you to read.
think about how i feel having to live it.
haha
i need something where i can let loose.
and isnt this what blogging is for?
a place to be free to be me.
be random.
and say whatever it is i feel like saying.
im gonna start a new way of blogging.
heres to blogging.

cheers. 

a theory.

life is exactly like a really narrow winding road. none of our roads are the same. obviously. they all wind and climb and fall in different places. and yes. we are all stick shift cars. its really hard for us to climb up hills and its really easy for us to stall randomly. even when we didnt know that it was coming. this is just my theory. and the last couple days i have been climbing a giant hill and im not sure if im gonna roll back down, stall and have to restart.

with the new situations at hand. a lot of things will be changing in the near future. and right now. its really hard. i dont understand why things have to happen this way and i dont get the point of it all. but i guess things dont always go the way i want. my road has become extremely winded and i have had to slow down in order to not fly off the edge. im scared of how things are gonna end up but i just have to have faith and know that there are people there along the way that are gonna be there to help me.  i have so many people that love me. and i am so lucky.

life is hard. but thats okay.

a shift

a while back. i posted this. 
then things progressed. and i posted this.
his name is Tyson Brent Keetch. he is twenty two years and five months old. he stands six feet tall. and has a muscular build. he has bright blue eyes that notice every little thing. he has dimples and a cleft chin with perfectly white straight teeth behind lips that form a perfect smile. he makes me happy and comfortable. not only with what we have. but with myself. he lets me know that being myself is what really matters. he hangs out with my family in the kitchen while we all cook, eat & talk. i hang out with his family on his back porch talking laughing and watching movies. when its just me and him. we become completely immature and childish. we laugh. we play fight and sometimes we sit and just have staring contests. he knows more about me than i do. only because he can read every emotion that crosses my face. i have learned that relationships are not easy. that saying bye is one of the hardest things to do. and having to watch him drive away knowing that i wont see him the next day pulls at my heart strings. having to be away from him at college has made me realize some things. one. that while we were together i took it for granted. two. that his smile is what gets me through so many things. and three. that i love him. really love him. i wake up everyday thinking about him and go to sleep every night praying that he is doing okay. love is a scary thing. a very scary thing. because you put yourself completely at risk. but i dont care anymore. he is the most respectful kind amazing man i have ever known. and if its my choice i am never letting him go. so i would like to publicly announce. i am in love. completely. and yes it scares me. it is a shift in my life. but i know he will take care of me. college will only make us stronger. and we are going to be okay. im the luckiest girl in the world.

the world of college.

well this is different.
COL/LEGE: 

a. An institution of higher learning that grants the bachelor's degree in liberal arts or science or both.

b. An undergraduate division or school of a university offering courses and granting degrees in a particular field.

c. A school, sometimes but not always a university, offering special instruction in professional or technical subjects.

the word college i already deeply dislike. why? because i associate it with one.hundred math problems, writing too long of papers with words i didnt know existed, one.hundred and sixty dollar textbooks and a bank account holding the amount of twenty two dollars.


A/PART/MENT:

a. a room or a group of related rooms, among similar sets in one building, designed for use as a dwelling.

b. a building containing or made up of such rooms.

c. any separated room or group of rooms in a house or other dwelling: We heard cries from an apartment at the back of the house.

d. apartments, British . a set of rooms used as a dwelling by one person or one family.

however, on the other hand the word apartment...i love. yes, the fact that it gives me a place to sleep and get away from this ridiculous heat is very nice. but. my apartment is my home away from home. where at any given time of the day there are at least four people there coming just to see me and my sister. it is my cozy little place to get away from everything. and if needed everyone. also. im living with my best friend and sister. so that helps. i can decorate it any way that i want and if needed i can walk around in my underwear and no one can tell me to put clothes on. because i am paying for it. it feels nice to know that i am paying for my place to stay.




life is good right now. despite the fact that i have to go to school im okay with it. only because i know it will bring me my future. yes i miss my family and and my boyfriend. but sometimes missing people makes you realize how lucky you are to have people like them in your life.