well.

im home now.
for the week.
i have seen him.
and he has seen me.
we have hung out.
and talked a lot.
he held my hand.
and he held me.
its been amazing to be around him.
and also so ridiculously hard.
im taking a break from dating.
he is still dating.
so obviously.
we are in different places.
i never thought it would hurt me so bad.
to know that he is flirting.
and whatever else goes with it.
with other girls.
at the same time as me.
i may be being dramatic.
but never the less.
the pain is still there.
things are complicated.
and i thought i was stronger.
and that i could handle all of this.
but i cant.

we are friends.

and now i'll be crying myself to sleep.
for awhile.